dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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