I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
