Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
