As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
