im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
