do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
