I don't usually arrange sex via text message
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
