Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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