hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I puked a lego.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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