I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So many bounce houses so little time
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
