as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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