Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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