Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Drunk is not a location!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
