I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
