There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
