My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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