we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
