how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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