And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
