I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
