party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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