I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
