If that was your dad, he is hot
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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