Your tits are I can't wait for
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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