If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
