She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
