ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
