Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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