my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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