I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
