i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
