i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
