chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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