I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
