well you can't waste a boner
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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