i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
