Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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