suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
