Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
