I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just cropdusted the office
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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