Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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