Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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