summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
