I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
only if we run a train.
done.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
