If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
