At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
