If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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