I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
