i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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