remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
