I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
