I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
