Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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